MY DAUGHTERS: NEW GENERATION

I am a single father living in Papua New Guinea with two daughters who are 14 and 13 years old. They have not had a permanent mother for so long. I have tried to find a mother to help organize their lives without success.

They are the young women of the house but refuse to be permanently involved in house work. There is no such practice of one taking over washing clothes though we have a washing machine.

One will wash the clothes and hang on the line. But she will not bring the clothes in. There is no follow through. If it rains, the chances of the clothes being brought in are absolutely zero. The bed sheets for the night are wet too. Sorry dad, I was watching cable TV next door.

So the clothes are brought in. There the clothes will stay in the basket with never a thought of hanging clothes in the cupboard. At times there will be a pile of dirty clothes dropped in the clean clothes basket and we are back where we started.

My daughters have to wash their school uniforms. There is never a thought of cooperation to wash all uniforms. The washing machine goes on for one shirt, one skirt and socks. No thought to throw my shirts and trousers in the wash too. That requires forward planning.

As for cooking, my daughters will do that occasionally. I would be talking to the moon to have them take the job permanently. Cooking is done if I buy the food. No washing up will be done. There will be rice in the cooker for two more days if I allowed it to happen.

I talk to friends to be told that this is par for the course. All kids today think they have the right to do everything else except house work. If they do work, they want pay.

My elder daughter made a deal recently to be paid as house meri. It’s a deal. She lost interest after 6 days but wanted the pay. Her complaint was that she wanted rinso and I did not run down the shop to buy a packet.

I tell them they have to do a job properly. Very soon, they will seek a part time job in the holidays. If they use the same standards of work, they will be sacked in a day and a half.

If they marry a PNG man, they may lose their teeth if his food is not cooked and clothes are not clean and ready for the next day’s work. Perhaps the penny will drop next year.

My family has a schedule of tasks of sorts. Get up in the morning. Wash. Put on uniforms. Pack school bags. Have breakfast. Get lunch money. Disappear down the road with girlfriends.

In the afternoon, come home. Have something to eat. Change uniforms. Disappear with girl friends. Come home for dinner. Do homework. Watch TV. Send text messages forever. Go to sleep. Perhaps they are not so bad. A bit of tightening up on the work schedule would help.

It is the cooking, house cleaning and washing clothes that brings the schedule all unstuck. We have a very unreliable house meri who messes up our schedule no end.

I think I will sack her. But she will only turn up the next week and do two days of work before disappearing again. She has moved house and has to travel long distances. And she is my daughters’ biological aunty.

To be kind to my daughters, they need a mother. The real mother took off years ago. We have lived in the same neighborhood for 11 years and there are motherly women everywhere.

The young woman across the road has been called mummy Nanai all their lives. Aunty Serah lives down the road a bit. Bubu lives next door and has become the grandmother and God-parent to my youngest.

I could not leave if I wanted to. These women are much more what my daughters need than a crusty old white man. That is why they are never home except to ask for money. It could be worse. They could be spinning somewhere around Morata with the local raskols.