Monday 14 December 2020

FACTS OF LIFE FOR KIDS

We adults sometimes forget how old we were to know the facts of life when we are shocked at how old our children and grand-children are when they show their knowledge.

I never forget my first experience as an 8 year old on the farm. One day, I rushed into the house to tell my parents that Eddie the bull had just served Maisie one of our herd of dairy cows. It goes into the record book. We had visitors.

My father was horrified for me to talk like that in front of visitors. Later he took me aside to explain the facts of life. 

He said that God puts babies in the bellies of ladies and cows. I sat straight faced telling myself that my father was a silly old twit.

I once tried to tell the facts of life to my two 9 and 10 year old PNG daughters. They sat politely for ten seconds and then told me they knew all about the facts of life. They learned in grade 2 from the other class girls.

I must admit that I learned quite early too. We little boys had dirty jokes that explained all. The first joke was not about sex but a lady who had a dog she called "tits-wobble". 

One day she lost her dog and went around the neighbourhood asking if people had seen her "tits-wobble". You know the rest. Dirty little boys.

There was once the story of a mother who was asked by her 6 year old son where he came from. The time had come. So she thought out what to say.

She told him that she fell in love with his father. They were married. He had a penis and used to sleep with her. You know the rest.

She asked him why he wanted to know. He said his friend Jimmy came from Sydney. He wanted to know where he came from. The lesson is to tell only what the child wants to know. But get it right.

It is not good enough for teachers to talk to young children about gays and lesbians and go into detail about anal sex and oral sex. Answer only the questions asked.

Last night I asked a few 8 year old kids from the neighbourhood. All knew about gays and lesbians. So why worry? They are almost as advanced as we were.

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