YOUNG WOMAN CHOOSES A HUSBAND

Daughter, you want to marry this man. Do you love  

him? Is he kind to you? Does he share faith with you?

Are you happy with him? Do you laugh with him?

Does he want to help you to grow? Are you afraid of

him? What do other girls say about him? Has he been

violent to you? Does he control you? Will he give you

his fortnight pay? Does he drink alcohol? Will he be

unfaithful to you? Is he kind to children?

Pikinini meri, yu laik maritim dispela man.

Yu lovim em stret? Em i gutpela long yu?

Em i bilip long God wankain yu? Yu amamas

long em? Yu save lap wantaim em? Em i laik

litimapim laip bilong yu? Yu pret long em?

Olgeta arapela meri i tok olsem wanem? Em

i paitim yu bipo? Em i wok long bosim yu? Em

bai givim yu fotnait pe bilong em? Em i save

spak? Em bai kisim HIV/AIDS i kam insait long

famili?

How do men abuse women in this

country?

Women are abused in the world. It comes

from the fact that men see themselves as

superior gender and physically   stronger

than women. Women have the task of

looking after the house and family. They

need money for food, clothes, soap,

school fees and medicine.

Many men will be angry at sharing money.

Many will be angry if they come home at

any time and food is not ready. Many will

be angry if their wife refuses sex. So they

bash their wife often in drunken anger.

Planti meri i kisim taim nogut stret long

olgeta hap bilong graun. Long India ol meri

i peim prais bilong maritim man. Mani i go

long famili. Sapos pe bilong man i go antap

prais i go antap. Planti meri i dai bikos man

i laik kisim nupela meri.

Long olgeta hap, man i strong moa long meri

long sait bilong bodi tasol. Planti meri i winim

man long strong bilong spirit. Ol meri i mas i

gat strong long lukautim famili. Planti i karim

planti pikinini na strong bilong bodi i go daun.

Ol meri i mas wok long kisim mani bilong baim

kaikai bilong famili, marasin na klos. Ol i mas

peim skul fi. Planti man i no strong tumas. Ol

i no lukautim famili. Pikinini i sik, orait mama

i lukautim. Planti man i kros sapos meri i askim

em long givim mani bilong lukautim haus.

As tru bilong HIV/AIDS em bilong planti man i

raun na slip wantaim planti meri na kisim sik

o givim sik long ol. Ol i kam na givim sik long

famili bilong ol.

What are the traps for young women?

Many young women are trapped into a relationship with a

man by false promises. They let a man bash them and do

not see this as a danger sign. He will bash them again and

again. The man does not help in the home.

He comes home drunk. If the woman runs away, He will

find her and take her back. Family may be afraid to stop

him. They will blame the woman.

The biggest trap is to become pregnant and be forced to

seek money from the man who may be a stranger to the

woman. The man may trap a woman into early death with

HIV infection.

Planti yangpela meri i amamas moa yet sapos

wanpela man i laikim em. Ol i no sindaun na

skelim toktok bilong em. Em i tok olsem em

bai lovim em na lukautim em oltaim. Em i tru

o nogat?

Meri i no sekim em na painimaut olsem em i

gat famili o nogat? Olsem wanem sapos em

i man i raun na grisim ol yangpela meri?

Em i tok olsem em bai putim em long bisnis

koles na painim wok long wanpela opis bilong

em. Em i gat opis bilong em o nogat? Orait em

i stap wantaim dispela man na em i paitim em.

Em i ranawe tasol man i kisim em i kam bek.

Famili i pret long stapim em. Nau meri i gat

bel na man i no kam na lukim em. Em i no

kisim man ii kam.

Meri i no go bek long famili bilong em bikos

em i sem nogut tru. Em i raun long taun na

painim ol man long givim em mani.

Em i salim bodi bilong em. Bipo em i karim

pikinini em i painimaut olsem e mi gat sik

HIV/AIDS.

How can a woman make sure she is not

trapped?

A woman can ensure safety by seeking the protection of

family. She marries a man known to the family. She is very

careful about marrying a man whose clan lives hundreds of

kilometers away and goes and lives in the village.

The clan may support the man against his wife, especially in

giving blame for the man being HIV infected. A woman can

make sure that she does not have sex with any man and run

the risk of HIV infection, pregnancy & Sexually Transmitted

Infections (STIs). She is safest to wait until she is married to

a man she can trust.

Famili i nambawan samting bilong sapotim na

lukautim ol yangpela man na meri. Plant i laik

lusim famili bikos ol i ting olsem famili bilong

em i no smat tumas.

Ol i laik long raun wantaim ol stail pren.Tasol

taim bai kam na ol bai painim trabel. Ples bilong

hait em insait long famili.

Sapos yangpela meri i gat planti brata na uncle

ol bai inap halivim papa long lukautim yangpela

man o meri sapos wanpela i painim trabel. Nogut

sapos yangpela meri i maritim man i stap longwe

long famili bilong meri. Nogut sapos man i paitim

meri na meri i no inap singautim famili long kam.

HIV/AIDS: KEY REPORTS ON GOOGLE

Please refer to following postings on Google for

a complete understanding of HIV/AIDS and the

social scene that have been censored across the

world from the 1980s:

HIV fragile cold soapy water bleach

HIV gut attack

HIV circumcision

HIV mucosa penis

HIV anal mucosa

HIV mucosa mouth tonsils

HIV cervical cancer

HIV leaky gut

HIV Krebs cycle

HIV blood brain barrier

HIV dementia

HIV Dr Woodruff dementia

HIV super infection

HIV Positive Living

mother to child transmission

domestic violence

coccidian gut parasites gay

The Pink Agenda – South Africa

gay lesbian fisting

gay lesbian rimming

gay lesbian domestic violence

paedophile snuff movies killing children

paedophiles infiltrate aid organizations

There is no apology for topics listed above.

These give an accurate insight that the most

susceptible group in the community are gay

men who can be attacked by both HIV and

coccidian gut parasites.

We must not accept false advice that domestic

violence is limited to heterosexual men abusing

wives and children. Reports on Google show

the gay / lesbian violence can be much worse.

The world community can not successfully fight

the HIV/AIDS pandemic if all the cards are not on

the table. We must not allow a minority group to

dictate what the rest of the community is allowed

to know.

The world has been tricked into accepting a simple

minded message that completely avoids any insight   

on the sex lifestyle of gays and lesbians.

It is important to understand the attack of the virus

on the gut if we are to see importance of nutrition.    

Gay coccidian infections are not opportunistic but

lifestyle.

For the sake of our children, we have to debunk the

myth that the gay/ lesbian lifestyle is somehow kind,

gentle and sophisticated where young women avoid  

the violence of men.

Truth is the gay/ lesbian lifestyle can be cruel, jealous

and violent. These people do not spend their time in

gay bars but most remain hidden even from other gays.

They guard their lovers.

Many gays are super-promiscuous with over 3000 sex

encounters in a lifetime. Life span of gays can be quite

low with the twin-pronged attack of HIV and coccidian

gut parasites.

A battered lover has no where go to for help except family.

Gay / lesbian sex causes injuries that never heal in tearing

of flesh. Google reports are that both gays and lesbians are

involved in fisting.

HOME COUNSELLING WITH CARING

There are basic principles to effective counseling.

The first is not to talk too much.  When counselor

and the person meet, there could be a handshake

or a gentle hug.

The family member could be greeted. It is important

to know if a family member is present, the counselor

should be informing and teaching both people.

All could sit under a tree. There is friendly silence for

a few moments. The counselor asks how the person

is? The counselor listens quietly.

So she has stopped smoking as advised. The family

has moved to a diet of fruit and vegetables. That is

wonderful news says the counselor.

Are you drinking plenty of clean water? You are! That

is great. Uncle, your niece is looking good. She seems

to be putting on weight.

And what about your baby daughter? She is 4 months

old now. Have you gone off breast milk? Did you take

her for a VCCT test? And she is negative.

Good. She can stay that way. If you follow Positive

Living, you will see her graduate from high school.

I am glad we went to see Susu Mamas last month.

Are you following their advice on breast feeding?

Great.

The secret of counseling is not to tell too much too

soon. The counselor has only talked about cigarette
smoking, drinking clean water, eating fruit / vegetables,
putting on weight and living in a happy family. It was
developed over 4 visits.

The person is a young woman who has been to grade

7. It is not important to tell her all about the damage to
the gut lining and breakdown in absorption of nutrients,

water and salts.

The counselor can stress importance of keeping healthy

and eating fruit and vegetables. New information can be
that fruit and vegetables should be clean, ripe and fresh.
This will keep the intestine healthy.

More information can be to cut down on rubbish meat.

The family attended a highlands mumu last month. The

young lady was warned on the last visitation not to eat

too much pig meat and other fatty meat.

If the counsellor is from a church, the visitation can be
ended on a positive note with a prayer. Thank God that
the young lady is following Positive Living and looking
healthy. Thank God that she lives in a loving family.

Mention at the end that it may be time for her to go on
ARV drugs. Tell her modern knowledge that it is better
to take ARV drugs sooner rather than later. It helps her
intestine to heal and allows food and water to enter the
body and be used.

A home counsellor should be discrete. If strangers are
in the house, the counsellor should postpone the visit.

Perhaps arrangements can be made by mobile phone.

ROLE MODELS FOR FAMILIES

There are key family problems in this country. The first

is that many fathers never discuss any matter with sons.

For many it is all silence. Father becomes the negative

role model for the son who is silent to his son in later

years.

For many, there is no communication between father

and son/daughter on family values. It is a matter of do

what I do. I am off down boozing the road with my

friends. I want my dinner ready whenever I come back.

It may be the father is acting out role models he found

in his father and uncles.

We have to break the cycle even in small ways.

Some boys copy drinking and violence of their fathers

and uncles. It is common to hear young boys shouting

with deep voices just to sound grown up. They drink

home brew just to be like the big boys. They need to

see regular positive family values. There may be few

role models who will give them a lead.

Role models could be promoted in TV programs in

30 second advertisements of a single conversation.

Church of Latter Day Saints has used this technique

over the world for many years. Click below:

 

Videos for Mormons TV advertisments family

Top News; Movie News; TV News; Celebrity News; Featured

News ... Stan learns about the Mormon religion after a new

family moves to South Park from Utah. ...www.imdb.com/title
/tt0705893/ - Cached - Similar

These advertisements could be prepared by churches

or other organizations like the Department for Community

Development, Church of Latter Day Saints and Seventh

Day Adventists.

First advertisements may focus on the role of fathers

or mothers in giving values and guidance to sons or

daughters. These could be in Tok Pisin.

Father and son fix an engine and talk

Father: Hold the spanner son. Keep it tight.

Son: OK dad

Father: I see you have a new girl friend son.

Son: Yeh dad she’s cool.

Father: When are you going to bring her home?

Son: Soon dad

Father: I hope you are treating her well,

Son: Just like you look after mum.

Father: If she is good like your mum she’s OK.

Son: Yeh she is dad. I treat her well.

Mother and daughter work and talk

Mother: I am glad you are helping me.

Daughter: Anything for you mum.

Mother: How long have you been with John?

Daughter: About 2 months now.

Mother: I am glad he does not hit you.

Daughter: We make each other happy all the time.

Mother: He reminds me of your father.

Daughter: I like him as he reminds me of dad.

Father rings his daughter in town

Father: Hullo Mary is that you?

Mary: This is me dad. What’s wrong?

Father: Nothing. I just want to say hullo to you.

Mary: Thanks dad. I miss you all too.

Father: How is your study?

Mary: Great dad. Thanks for ringing.

Father: I worry about you every day.

Mary: Could you send me K3 credits?

Father: (sigh) Yes dear.

Mother talks to son

Mother: Hullo son. You are home early

Son: School finished at lunch time today, mum.

Mother: Are you hungry?

Son: Yeh mum what have you got?

Mother: Kaukau and pawpaw.

Son: Great.

Mother: As you grow, you remind me of your dad.

Son: Yeh. He eats a lot too.

Mother: No. You are kind and good like him.

Son: Thanks mum.

These could be 4 of dozens of family advertisements.

Can you recall the TV series Seventh Heaven? That

probably had an impact on many PNG people though

made in Hollywood. I often think of the Reverend in

that movie and the way he handled problems.

He becomes frustrated but is never violent nor loses

his temper. Even at my age, role models are still

relevant. My daughters frustrate with never-ending

requests for money.

Please AusAID  provide funding for TV advertisements

such as these if churches make a request. Let kind and

loving PNG families models be seen every day on TV.

The purpose of the advertisements is to show parents

who talk children with mother and father supporting

each other. That is family.

The community needs role models at all levels from

the Prime Minister to the local pastor, teacher and

policeman.

We feel betrayed to read a pastor or teacher has been
convicted of carnal knowledge or that a policeman has
bashed a person for no reason. It is worse when we hear
of our favourite football team starting a drunken brawl at
a nightclub or attacked a woman.

There are people pretending to be role models for

children. They have brought gifts of human rights.

But they also have a large Trojan horse they have

brought into the nation. They focus only on rights

with no mention of responsibilities.

POEM: MY MARRIAGE

This poem may be useful for trainers to use in workshops.
It is about injustice towards a woman at the hands of her
husband. It can be used as the topic of a group discussion.

I once met a girl

who was so good to me

and she soon was the light

in my life.

She gave me three children,

looked after my house.

I was happy to make her

my wife.

Our marriage was strong.

Our family has grown.

My love for her never fades.

And I thanked God each day

that my wife came to stay.

But I did not thank her.

I just gave her AIDS

and she gave the virus

to our baby son.

Now both are dead

and I am dying.

Please God forgive me.

THIS FAMILY HAS RESPONSIBILITIES

In 2010, there was a family crusade for two weeks in Jack Pidik

Park in Port Moresby conducted by the Seventh Day Adventist

with main speaker Pr Simon Vetali.

It was an amazing crusade with speakers focusing on aspects

of family living from peace, happiness, love, children, hygiene,

marriage, non-violence, rights & responsibilities, faith, faithfulness,

disease control and care for disabled family.

Most memorable event was the family that came up on the stage

to speak. There was a husband and wife with 9 children. Each

spoke in turn about their responsibilities.

The husband/father spoke of earning a wage for the family, keeping

the family happy and healthy in body, mind and soul.

The wife/mother spoke of looking after the family and keeping the

home in order. She did not work in a job but could have done so

if she did not have household duties.

The eldest son was 17 years old and spoke of his study and duties

at home that included helping his mother and father and looking after

the younger children. He cut the firewood and helped with shopping.

He was learning to repair the car.

The eldest daughters were 16 & 15 years old. They spoke of their basic

responsibilities to study and look after the house. They cooked, washed

the clothes and kept the house clean.

The younger sons and daughters came home from school and played.

They had something to eat and homework. They washed their uniforms

and helped their sisters with the work. They helped their mother with

the small sisters and brothers.

Not one spoke of rights. Did they not have rights? Their rights were so

normal and natural that they did not have to speak of rights. So they just

talked about their responsibilities.

They have the right to be safe. And they are safe. They have the right to

good food. And they get good food. They have the right to feel loved.

And they are loved. They have the right to play. And they do play.

They have the right to be at peace. And they are at peace. They have

the right to express an opinion. Within reason, they have that right. They

have the right to education. And they go to school.

The wife had the right to be respected. And she was. The husband had

the right to be loved. And he was loved. This family took their rights for

granted. So they spoke only of responsibilities.

There are overseas advisors who speak only of rights.They may tell these

boys and girls that they have the right to smoke, go to discos, stay out at

night, not go to church with the right of association.

Let them go to America and tell young  people they have rights to associate

with extremists. Or tell the Courts that people have the right to consort with

criminals. Tell young underage children they have the right to associate with

paedophiles. Tell Moslem women they have the right to associate with men

outside their family.

Overseas advisors have the responsibility to help strengthen families. They
have no right to spoil families.

A PRAYER FOR POSITIVE LIVING

Dear God of mercy and love,

You know I have lived

with HIV/AIDS

and a fear for my health

never ends.

But I thank you, dear God

for the love you have shown

and the care of my family

and friends.

For love gives me peace

and peace makes me strong

to go on with my life

and I know

that I live in your grace

and have problems to face

but my spirit

continues to grow.

I thank you for love.

I thank you for peace

I thank you for family

and friends.

I thank you for strength

and give thanks

for good food

and a faith that I pray

never ends.

I pray that you help

those who suffer this sick

and give them the strength

that I know.

Please stand by their families

and show them the way

to help their loved ones

to grow.

And I make this prayer

through your son

Jesus Christ

our Lord and Saviour.

Amen.