BOOZE, SEX, MONEY & FAMILY VIOLENCE

Problems with booze, sex and money will always be a problem in the PNG community. So too will predator gays, lesbians and paedophiles preying on street kids and blaming fathers. So will unemployment and poverty cause the stress that leads to family frustration and violence.

A husband and wife may argue over these matters and come to violence against each other. A loving couple are supposed to work together to strengthen their families but there are ways in which they can be driven apart and pushed into violence. 

Some husbands and wives are not able to withstand the stress of poverty. They have no ability to work together for family survival.

Booze may be a problem for both the husband and wife. The man may drink beer each day and come home drunk and violent. 

He may seek food that he expects is ready for him but will be angry if there is no food. He may bash his wife even though she has no money to buy food.

A woman may also drink alcohol or home brew and spend the family money on herself. She may be violent to the husband who is angry that food money for the day has been spent on home brew.

Recently a woman killed her husband who confronted her for spending food money on home brew, leaving no money for the meal at night. Other women will spend food money on gambling or bingo.

Money is a problem for married couples. The fortnightly wage for workers is low at K280 a fortnight which is not enough money for a family to live on. It is K20 a day which is not enough for food, lunch and bus fare money for students and medicine for a sick family member.

Many people live on credited money which puts them into poverty. Credited money has to be paid back in the next pay which means that the family has to credit more money for the next fortnight.

If a man spends some of the K280 on beer or other women, he is making problems for his wife and children. The family may not have enough money to live on.

Sex can be a problem for a husband and wife. The husband comes home drunk and demands sex from his wife and she says no. She says she is hungry, sick and afraid of HIV infection from other women.

There is now violence and the wife may be bashed and raped by her husband. Some men claim to have two wives which places stress on the family trying to survive on K280 a fortnight. There is not enough money for two or more families to live on.

Problems arise with first or second wife who punishes the husband or the other woman. She meets her in the street or goes to her house, armed with a knife to stab the woman who may die of wounds.

Girls may be sexually abused by family men though the same men may be reported to police by family members and end up in prison. This makes for difficulty if the man is the wage earner.

Other wives have been known to stab their husbands. This places stress on the children with a father who is dead, no fortnight pay and a mother in prison for murder. They will be orphans who are looked after and may be abused by uncles, aunts or cousins.

Girls may be sexually abused in the house of the uncle as a Cinderella orphan and becoming a slave of the family. The wantok system can be ugly and abusive with no loyalty among family members.