Wednesday, 29 June 2011

WRITE SWEET ENGLISH

..... and stop the baby talk

In Papua New Guinea schools, too many students are allowed to write
baby talk. They write whatever comes into their heads, usually repetitive
sentences that start with "I". They often think in Tok Pisin and write in
English.

Nem bilong me John. Mi bilong Sepik Province. Mi gat 8 pela Krismas.
Mi gat 2 pela brata. Mi gat 2 pela susa.

Teachers have to emphasize complex sentences.  But many do not know
how to stop the baby talk. Teachers should try the exercises below.

Parents please take these exercises home to your children particularly
those in upper primary to high school levels.


******************************

I work in Lae. I live at Nadzab. I arrive at my workplace
at 8.00am

I work in Lae and live at Nadzab, arriving at the workplace at
8.00am.

Working in Lae, I live at Nadzab, arriving at the workplace at
8.00am.

Working in Lae, I live at Nadzab and arrive at the workplace at
8.00am.

He traveled across the country. He bought produce. He sold
produce in the towns.

He traveled across the country to buy produce that he sold in  the
towns.

Travelling across the country, he bought produce to sell in the
towns.

I studied at university. I wanted to become a doctor. I wanted
to help people.

I studied at university to become a doctor and help people.

I had come to town. I had walked for many hours. I was very
tired.

I had come to town having walked for many hours and was very tired.

Having walked for many miles, I came to town and was very tired.

He had walked for many miles. He sat by the old tree. He waited
for the bus to come.

Having walked for many miles, he sat by the old tree waiting for the
bus to come.

He had walked for many miles and sat by the old tree waiting for the
bus to come.

He opened the door. He went inside. He put the package on the table.

He opened the door and went inside to put the package on the table.

He opened the door, went inside and put a package on the table.

Opening the door, he went inside to put the package on the table.

The old man sat by the river. He had sat by the river for many years.
He waited patiently for the fish to come.

The old man sat by the river as he had done for many years, waiting
patiently for the fish to come.

I work as a cleaner. I put out the rubbish. I sweep the factory floor.

I work as a cleaner to put out the rubbish and sweep the factory floor.

Working as a cleaner, I put out rubbish and sweep the factory floor.

She arrived at the house. She opened the door. She went inside.

She arrived at the house, opened the door and went inside.

Arriving at the house, she opened the door and went inside.

He opened his eyes. He smiled at his family. He died.

He opened his eyes, smiled at his family and died.

Opening his eyes, he smiled at his family and died.

He held the rope . He told his friend not to be afraid. He said
that help was coming

Holding the rope, he told his friend  not to be afraid as
help was coming

He held the rope and told his friend not to be afraid as help
was coming.

He looked out the window. He saw a ship. It was on the horizon

He looked out the window and saw a ship on  the horizon.

Looking out the window, he saw a ship on the horizon.

She opened her eyes. She smiled. She asked for a glass of water.

She opened her eyes, smiled and asked for a glass of water.

Opening her eyes, she smiled and asked for a glass of water.

He tried to open the door. He could not open the door. The lock
was stuck.

He tried to open the door but could not as the lock was stuck.

Birds come back to their nesting sites. They find their mates.
They produce their young.

Coming back to their nesting sites, birds find their mates and
produce their young.

Birds come back to their nesting sites to find their mates and
produce their young.

He was a great king. He gave land to the poor. He built water
canals. He brought farming to the desert.

A great king, he gave land to the poor, built water canals and
brought farming to the desert.

He was a great king who gave land to the poor, built water canals
and brought farming to the desert.

I graduated from Grade 10. I had credits in English and Social Science.
I had upper passes in mathematics.

I graduated from Grade 10 with credits in  English and Social Science
and upper passes in Mathematics.

Graduating from Grade 10, I had credits in English and Social Science
with upper passes in Mathematics.

He had nowhere to sleep. He looked for a dry place. It had to be secure
from intruders.

He had nowhere to sleep and looked for a dry place secure from intruders.

Having nowhere to sleep, he looked for a dry place secure from intruders.

She hoped to be chosen as a candidate. She prepared a detailed resume.
It included referees. It included a summary of part-time work.

She hoped to be chosen as a candidate and prepared a detailed resume
that included referees and a summary of  part-time work.

Hoping to be chosen as a candidate, she prepared a detailed resume with
referees and a summary of part-time work.

He did not know what to do. He sent a message to his friend. He sought his
advice.

He did not know what to do and sent a message to his friend seeking his
advice.

Not knowing what to do, he sent a message to his friend seeking his advice.

He was a man. People would come to him. They would seek his advice.

He was a man to whom people would come to seek his advice.

It was a tree. People would sit under the tree. They would eat their lunch.

It was a tree under which people would sit to eat their lunch.

There was a large river. People built bridges across the river. They would
take their produce to market.

There was a large river across which people built bridges to take their
produce to market.

There was a beautiful lake. The settlers built a town around the lake. They
lived there for many centuries.

There was a beautiful lake around which settlers built a town where they
lived for many centuries.

He bought a beautiful horse. He had paid much money for the horse.

He bought a beautiful horse for which he had paid much money.

There was a hotel in the valley. It had a large roof. Across the top was
the word “Hotel”.

There was a hotel in the valley with a large roof. across which was the
word “Hotel”.

The old man was his employer. He had worked for him for many years.

The old man was his employer for whom he had worked for many years.

The problem has not been solved. Power failures still occur. There are
breakdowns in power stations. Power lines have been damaged in the
floods.

The problem has not been solved with power failures still occurring,
break-downs in power stations and power lines damaged in the floods.

The Bolivian Government failed. Extensive poverty existed in rural
areas. Violence raged in rural areas. Corruption caused services to
cease.

The Bolivian Government failed with extensive poverty existing in rural
areas, violence raging in rural areas and corruption causing services to
cease.

The weather news for the weekend is not happy. High winds will bring
rough seas. Heavy rain will cause even greater flooding.

The weather news for the weekend is not happy with high winds bringing
rough seas and heavy rain causing even greater flooding.

The arrival of the Queen has brought great joy. The people crowded the
streets. Children danced in the show grounds. Flags fluttered from buildings.

The arrival of the Queen has brought great joy with people crowding the
streets, children dancing in the show grounds and flags fluttering from buildings.

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