Saturday, 14 June 2014
LOVE AND LUST IN HUMAN RELATIONS
Sunday Chronicle PNG 15 June 2014 Timothy Pirinduo
First and foremost, let us understand the literature of love and lust. People are social beings who need to interact with one another. If not fulfilled, then other need of self esteem cannot be achieved.
Love is a decision to commit oneself to another and work through conflict instead of giving up. Lust is an intense desire or craving for sexual gratification.
The website www.psychologytoday.com highlights the signs of love and lust.
You want to spend quality time together rather than just sex.
You get lost in conversation and forget the hours passing.
You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings
You want to make each other happy.
You are being motivated to be an honest person.
You want to meet family and friends.
You totally focus on looks and body.
You are interested in sex not conversation.
You keep the relationship on a fantasy level.
You want to leave soon after sex.
Lust is ground zero for hormones. It is nature’s way of bringing two people together to mate. Without lust, it is doubtful if two people would ever come together and for love to prosper.
Women who prey on men are more interested in material wealth than sex. It is the man craving for sex and the way forward is to use material wealth.
Unfulfilled needs mean internal grievances and conflicts that boil over as frustrations. The lack of human satisfaction in sex and materials are the reasons behind all man’s problems.
Conditional love is not a real basis for a relationship.
Comment: When two people come together, there is often an unspoken contract agreed upon. You love me and I will love you. You are not violent to me and I will care for you.
You are faithful to me and I will be faithful to you. You give me money and I will look after your house.
In modern PNG, there is no contract. Bride price continues to give men the idea that they own their wife. They can seek other wives.
They can be violent and deny money to their wife. They will bash her if she runs away and intimidate her family into giving her back.
There are groups that focus on the violence of men. They neglect to mention an increasing level of violence of women to men. HIV infection can be brought into a marriage by the wife. Mobile phones are the key supports to adultery.
There are now churches that offer counselling for married couples. UN organizations only make public statements about violence of men. There is no mention in AIDS awareness about unconditional love.
In the grade 8 Personal Development syllabus in PNG, there is focus on marriage, family, love and respect. Students are being required to select friends who are their role models and explain why. as an assignment.
It may be that the problems of PNG will be helped in years to come with young people who have passed through years of Personal Development study at Papua New Guinea schools.