GENTLE DEBATE ON MARRIAGE

I have a dream of a workshop on marriage that may be

conducted in the community at large or within a church.

There would be two groups to take part. One a group

of women not from the one group. The other would be

an equal number group of men.

Most would be married not necessarily to members of

the other group though it would not matter. Some would

be young men and women. Others would be older with

a traditional view and experience of marriage. All would

have something to contribute.

A workshop would take place over one or two days. The

groups would be divided into men and women with even

selection of younger and older.

They would be given large sheets of paper and sent into

groups to discuss an issue. The women and men would

be asked to give the qualities of a perfect spouse.

They would be given an hour to discuss. There should

be no dispute or personal attacks. No mention should

be made on any particular spouse.

Then they would come back to give their summary to the

combined group. All would be required to listen and not

interrupt. Then discussion could start.

It is not intended to be a battle of the sexes but a rational

sharing experience for guidance of young married people.

Combined views of the women and men could be as follows:

Love, trust, honesty, no jealousy, no violence, understanding,

patience, willingness to discuss and compromise, respect for

women pursuing careers, shared caring for and upbringing of

children, forgiveness, our money not my money, faithfulness
in marriage, pleasure in sex, joy in success of spouse, shared
values in bringing up children, children not used against other
spouse, space given to spouse, family activities, willingness to
support study by spouse, caring of disabled family members,
agreed discipline for children and respect for extended family.

It may be that through the workshop, people will learn from views
expressed and debates that arise. Young people learn from those
more experienced.

Older people may understand and appreciate the views of young

people. There may be the clash of views on a woman’s place in
the home.

Once the list is complete and accepted, it could appear on a

poster, provide the basis of a TV advertisement series or a
curriculum in adult education.