Friday 1 April 2011

VIOLENT MEN BECOME OLD MEN


There is a story from the highlands of Papua New Guinea
about a man who was violent and abusive to his family.
He would bash his wife and children whenever they made
him angry.

He would abuse his daughters. When he was angry with his
small children, he would take them to a large tree near the
house and hang them up-side down by a long rope.

He would leave them there often until night. His wife would
come to comfort them but he would bash her. The children
would be cold and afraid but the man did not care.

His eldest son would try to stop his father from beating his
mother, brothers and sisters. But he was too small to fight
his father.

The years past and the mother died. The children grew up
and married men and women from the clan area. The old man
had no one to look after him.

None of his children would care for him. They would not
allow their children to come to visit the grandfather. He was
alone.

One night the old man sat in his house lonely and hungry. So
he walked to the village on a ridge line many kilometers away.
There his eldest son lived with his family. The old man had not
seen his son in many years, except from a distance.

He stood outside the door and his son’s wife came to meet
him. She knew him from when she was a small girl and knew
of his cruelty. She invited her father-in-law into the house and
gave him some food. His son was not at the house.

After an hour, the son arrived and stood staring at his father.
They did not speak. His wife tried to make peace between
them but a wall stood between them that the father had built
all those years before. They sat while the father ate his food.

Finally the son told his father that it was time to sleep. He
asked him if he would like to sleep the night. The old man
was very pleased that his son was kind to him.

The son went outside and came back with a large rope. He
grabbed his father and told him that he was no longer a
small boy. Tying his father’s legs together, he dragged him
outside to a large tree.

Hoisting his father to the top of the tree, he called to him
that it was time to sleep. The son was paying his father for
the cruelty towards the family. The old man stayed there in
the cold and rain of a highlands night.

In the morning, villagers awoke to find an old man hanging
in the top branches of the tree. His mouth was open and his
eyes were closed. The old man had died during the night.

The son had done wrong and would have to face the law of
the nation. Scripture tells us that revenge belongs to God and
not to the individual.

Fathers have to know that if they do not look after their
family in early years, there will be no-one to look after
them when they are old.


Explain how you feel about this man?


I feel that this man is very stupid and evil. He has
harmed his family by violence. He does not love them.
But they have paid him back as he grew old. They did
not look after him until he died.

Men have to realize that their young family is helpless
and he has the responsibility to protect them. But the
time will come when they are adults and strong and
he is a weak old man. Then there may be no one to
love and care for him.


Why does the village do nothing to stop him?


The village may not have a strong village council to
bring peace and justice to the village. We read in the
media of sons killing brothers and fathers. At times,
men kill mothers, wives and daughters. These days
the power in many highlands villages rests with the
men and boys with the guns.

There is no way that a village can safely try to stop
violence of a man to his wife. Or at times, a wife to
a man. The village may stand by and say “samting
bilong tupela marit”.


What message is there for violent men?


The message is that men have to look after the family.
If they do not family members will not look after them
in old age. He will starve alone with no contact from
those he abused as children.



No comments:

Post a Comment