Men are the same the world over. Of the millions of men on the
planet are millions who see themselves as part of a tribe to which
they owe full allegiance. It may be the local football club, mates
from the bush, old school friends or just the local drunks.
Long olgeta hap bilong graun i gat planti man i ting olsem ol i bilong
wanpela lain man i bosim laip bilong em. Kain man i bilong wanpela
futbal klab o lain spakman i save raun na pait.
These men have bonded as a group of men that can drink one another
under the table, fight one another in pretend bouts that show they are
men who can fight and drink together. They look for women.
Olgeta taim ol i wok long spak na pait na stap ausait long famili. Ol i
wok long raun na slip wantaim ol meri.
They buy beers for one another and force beers down one another’s
throats. Have another one mate. Sometimes they steal money.
They will look after their mates, fight their mates and support them
against an attack from anyone outside the group. We read in the
newspapers that some men kill another friend because he stole his
beer.
Ol i yusim mani long baim bia. Sampela taim ol i stil na kisim mani.
Ol i spak na pait wantaim ol wantok. Planti taim yumi ritim ripot long
niuspepa olsem sampela man i pait na kilim wantok bikos em i stilim
bia bilong em.
Some are married. They may have been through a formal ceremony in
which they promise to love and obey each other. But bonds of menship
are stronger. They do not forsake the mates and are more willing to give
beers to their mates than food to their wife and children.
I gat sampela man i marit pinis. Planti i no sanap long marit seremoni.
Planti moa i no baim marit long braid prais. Oll i stap strong wantaim
lain man na wok long kisim mani long baim bia maski long lukautim
famili.
There is the larger group of men who take seriously the bonds of
marriage and see that their primary role is with their wife and children.
Pay is not for beer but for food, clothes, medicine, rent and school
fees.
Ol i gat lain i bikpela moa na ol i stap strong insait long marit bilong ol.
Nambawan wok bilong ol em bilong lukautim famili. Pe i no bilong baim
bia. Em bilong baim kaikai bilong famili na marasin na klos na skul fi.
They do not value any longer bonds with their mates. This is secondary
now. Many mates are going off into marriage too.
The men understand that they have formed a clan of their own. It involves
changing nappies, feeding babies and children, walking children to school
and paying school fees. The clan men think that such a man is a woman.
Dispela lain man i klia gut olsem ol i wokim wanpela famili. Man i gat wok
wantaim famili long klinim pekpek bilong bebi, kisim ol pikinini i go long
skul na peim skul fi. Ol lain spakman i makim em olsem geli-geli.
So we have two groups of men. One is married but has a primary loyalty
to men whose beer is more important that family food. He seeks primary
status among men. For this reason, he will be angry if his wife comes to
the group and demands money for the family meal.
Orait yumi gat tupela lain man. Wanpela lain i marit long meri tasol em i
save stap wantaim ol spakman. Em i wok long kisim biknem namel long
ol spak man. Em i pret olsem em bai luk olsem geli-geli. Sapos meri i
kam long lain spakman, man bai kros sapos meri i tok strong long kisim
mani.
The clan is watching. What will he do? He will punch her in the face and
kick her in the stomach. That is to show the mates that he is the boss in
his house.
Lain man i lukluk. Em bai mekim wanem? Ating em bai paitim em long pes
na kikim em long bel. Em bai soim lain spakman olsem em bos bilong haus.
Many married men are violent because they are unable to talk and discuss. A
man makes the promise with his wife that if she criticizes him in any way,
he will smash her down. If she refuses him sex, he will beat her.
Planti marit man i save pait bikos ol i no inap toktok. Meri i tok kros na em
i no gat ansa. Man i tokim meri olsem sapos em i tok kros man bai paitim
em. Sapos meri i les long slip wantaim man, em bai paitim em.
If there is no food on the table, he will break her face, even if she has no
money.
Sapos i no gat kaikai long tebol, man bai brukim pes bilong em, maski sapos
em i no gat mani inap long baim kaikai.
So what is to be done? We need to realize that the tribal group of men is less
than 40%. This is going by the statistics of violence in families according to the
Seventh Day Adventist church at Jack Pidik Park
Wanem samting yumi inap mekim? Yumi mas save olsem ol lain spakman i
olsem 40%. Lain SDA long Jack Pidik Park i ripot olsem.
That means that there are more than 60% of family men. So we start with
them. We promote role models of men who are strong lovers of their family.
They can be promoted on TV or in the media. Family men can be promoted
in churches.
I min olsem i gat moa olsem 60% famili man. Yumi stat wantaim ol. Gutpela
sapos yumi wok long soim ol role model man long TV o sios.
They will reach the men who are in boozing groups of mates but who would
prefer to be in families. Our role models will be young men, fathers, uncles or
grandfathers who have a role in teaching children.
Yumi bai wok long tok klia long ol lain i yangpela na stap wantaim ol spakman.
Tasol ol i laik mobeta stap marit na lukautim famili. Na tu yumi strongim ples
bilong ol papa na lapun papa.
There are men who booze and fight and who will never be reached. But
they need to understand that violence is not the answer in families.
Yumi no inap senisim tingting bilong planti spak na paitman. Tasol ol i mas
klia olsem paitim meri i no ansa.
All men have to be strongly aware that if women are in charge of the house,
then life will be better for all. Problems come when men have two or three
wives and can not afford to look after any of them. Their only answer is to
fight the women as they come looking for money.
Ol gutpela na smatpela man i mas klia olsem mobeta sapos meri i bosim
haus na man i bihainim em. Planti problem bai kamap sapos man i gat
tupela o tripela meri na i no gat mani inap long lukautim ol. I gat wanpela
rot tasol sapos ol meri i kam kisim mani. Man i paitim ol.
Many women are in trouble because they have been foolish in the choice of
men. She has allowed a man to abuse and violate her and thought he would
stop. But he has become worse. She started with him as his only wife but
now he has three.
Planti meri i stap long trabel bikos ol i no smat tumas taim ol i kisim man.
Ol i no wari taim man i paitim o paulim em. Ol i ting olsem em bai stapim.
Tasol nau em i pait strong moa. Long stat em i nambawan meri. Nau em
i nambatri.
Women have to understand that they are walking into trouble if they do
not choose the right man. They may be infected with HIV/AIDS. They
may be attacked in the street by a woman who claims she has a husband
being unfaithful to her. Gaols in this country are full of women who kill
other women.
Ol meri i mas klia olsem ol bai painim trabel inap long spoilim laip bilong
ol sapos ol i asua long maritim man. I gat planti bai kisim HIV/AIDS. I
gat planti bai paitim narapela meri long rot. Ol kalabus i pulap long planti
meri i kilim narapela meri.
Foreign advisors from AusAID and UN want to run courses to tell women
and girls that they have rights.
Ol lain ausait meri bilong AusAID na UN i laik wokim ol kos na tokim ol
PNG meri olsem ol i gat rait.
These women and girls will go home and tell the men they have rights. Men
will attack them. These foreign advisors are not really smart. They have to
convince the good men first. But they do not want to do that. They want to
start a war with men.
Ol meri na yangpela meri bai go bek long haus na ripot long ol man. Tasol ol
man bai paitim ol. Ol ausait meri i no smat tumas. Mobeta tru sapos ol i tok klia
long ol gutpela famili man pastaim. Ol i olsem 60%. Tasol ol ausait meri i les. Ol
i laik moa long statim woa wantaim ol man.
i laik moa long statim woa wantaim ol man.
The role models for boys and girls are fathers, grand-fathers, uncles, mothers,
grandmothers, aunties, friends, teachers, pastors and many others. They will
give a good example.
FAMILY POSITIVE LIVING - AIDS HOLISTICS: 04/07/11
FAMILY POSITIVE LIVING - AIDS HOLISTICS: 04/07/11
7 Apr 2011 ... Family rights and responsibilities. Role models for
parents to children ... HIV/AIDS: FAMILY POSITIVE LIVING:
Ol role model bilong ol pikinini ol i papa, lapun papa, ol uncle, mama, lapun
mama. Ol aunty, pren, tisa, pastor na planti moa bai inap givim sapot.. Ol bai
inap givim gutpela eksampel long ol pikinini na yangpela man na meri.
inap givim gutpela eksampel long ol pikinini na yangpela man na meri.
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