GROWTH OF CHILDREN

Children go through stages of growth from childhood to adulthood and

this must be understood clearly. A child can be spoiled if parents ignore

the basics of child development.

A child psychologist David Ausubel saw a child like a satellite revolving

around his parents as a key part of child growth.As an infant, a loved

child knows that to cry is to bring the mother running to give care. The

child is hungry and cries. A child needs a nappy changed and cries.

Theory and Problems of Child Development, D. P. Ausubel & E. C. ...

Theory and Problems of Child Development, D. P. Ausubel &.

 E. C. Sullivan. Grune & Stratton, N.Y., 2nd Edition, 1970,. XI + 849.

....psycnet.apa.org/journals/cap/12/1/86a... - Similar

A small child will come to think that he/she is the boss of the house. This

attitude may continue until the child is 3-4 years old. But slowly parents

have to limit the self-appointed authority of the child. Screaming and

tantrums have to be dealt with in loving and caring ways.

Taim mama i karim pikinini pinis em i lukautim em. Em i holim em na
karim em i go long olgeta hap. Em i go long gaden na putim em long
bilum i hangamap aninit long diwai. Pikinini i krai na mama i kam. Long
nait pikinini i slip klostu long mama. Em i krai long kisim susu na wantu
mama i kam. Bihain long wanpela yia o moa pikinini inap wokabaut na
toktok. Nau tasol em inap kamap bikhet na i ting olsem em i bos insait
long famili.

But the child has to have no doubt that there are limits to behaviour.
Then the child is no longer the centre of the universe with parents circling
like satellites. The child becomes the satellite circling around the parents.

This phase generally occurs at 6 years of age. The child becomes loving

and well behaved.

Sapos papamama i lukautim na stiaim pikinini gut, em bai klia olsem em
i no bos bilong famili. Nau tasol em i stat long bihainim tok bilong mama.
Em i wok long amamasim papamama long kain kain we. Em i laik halivim
mama long gaden o papa long riva.

In some families, the child always believes he is the boss of the house. He

never learns to be a satellite. A young boy sees his violent father beating

his wife and the mother of the child. A young boy may see himself as the

second in command in the family with authority to bash his sisters. He is

learning to bash a wife in years to come.

Long sampela famili, papa i man bilong paitim meri. Em i man bilong spak.

Sapos em i kam bek long nait na kaikai i no tan em bai paitim meri bilong
em. Meri i tok kros long man na man i paitim em. Pikinini man bai lukim na
skelim. Em bai ting olsem paitim meri em wok bilong man. Nau em i traim
ol susa bilong em.

Mama i no baim aiskrim o loli long taun na liklik boi bai paitim em. Nau em
i stap long trening long we bilong paitim meri bilong em taim em i marit man.
Pasin bilong paitim meri em i stat long haus o haus lain. Papa i skulim pikinini
man long paitim meri na raun long laik bilong em.

A growing child slowly moves away from the role as a satellite of parents.
The child moves into a social group of young boys/girls of the same age. At
the same time, the child remains under the loving authority of parents who
ensure that the child goes to school, has good food, clothes and school
books, comes home at reasonable times and does not mix with children
who will cause problems.

Gutpela sapos ol pikinini i no raun nabaut long laik bilong ol. Ol yangpela
meri i mas stap long haus. Nogut sapos ol meri i raun nabaut na kisim
bagarap long han bilong sampela ol man.Pikinini man i ken raun liklik tasol
gutpela sapos em i gat wok tu. Sapos ol yangpela man na meri i go long
skul, gutpela sapos ol i wokim skul wok long haus. Sapos haus i no gat
lektrik pawa, gutpela sapos ol i stadi long san.

A child has to gain skill in school work to prepare for adult life. The child
hasto be taught to follow family values through a faith response and other
worthwhile youth activities.  As child grows, there is interest in the opposite
sex. In early stages, there is a general interest in a number of people as the
sexual feelings are aroused.

Ol yangpela man na meri i stat long tingting long boipren na gelpren. Na
tu ol i tingting long wokim sex. Nau em taim bilong bikpela trabel wantaim
sik HIV/AIDS. Ol ripot bilong Gavman i soim olsem planti yangpela man
na meri i kisim sik stat long taim ol i gat 14 krismas.

Sapos yangpela meri i kisim bel, laip bilong em bai senis. Em bai senis moa
sapos em i sik wantaim HIV na pikinini wantaim. Laip bipo bai dai stret.
Skul bai pinis. Em i mas lukautim bebe i sik. Ol yangpela man na meri i mas
skelim gut. Laip long 14 krismas em taim bilong stadi na painim gutpela wok
sapos em inap. Em i no taim bilong wari long sik HIV bilong em na bebe.

A child who has been involved with sexuality training will know to avoid
the dangers of sex which include HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted
infections and unwanted pregnancies.Girls have to know that they may be
trapped by a man who has made them pregnant. They do not want him
but he forces himself on a false and violent claim that he is their husband.
But the girl is the mother of his child.

Ol yangpela meri i mas save gut olsem ol man inap kisim em sapos ol i
wokim sex na givim em bel. Planti man i no smat tumas. Ol i ting olsem
ol i bigman stret sapos em i gat planti meri nabaut long taun na em i papa
bilong planti pikinini.

Tasol ol i no gat gutpela wok na gutpela pe bilong lukautim ol. Sapos
man i gat 2pela meri na pe em inap long K200 em i no inap lukautim ol.
Em bai kisim K100 bilong baim bia bilong em. Na em i givim K30 long
tupela meri wan wan. Tupela meri na ol pikinini bai go hanggre.

She needs money. She may have to leave work or studies to become the
unwilling wife of a violent wife basher. Many men in Papua New Guinea
believe that the shortcut to marriage is to make a girl pregnant. Then she
has to come to him pleading for money. That makes him the boss.

The young man or woman may choose a person to be a spouse and a
parent of children. They marry. And the process of child growth starts
again with new life of the next generation. The baby grows to satellize
and then slowly moves away. And so it goes.

There is another problem in Papua New Guinea in the form of violence
to small children not from a father but at hands of mothers and aunties.
So many children are beaten because they have caused their mother or
aunty to be angry.

Paitim meri em bikpela problem long PNG. Tasol i gat narapela problem
long meri i paitim man. Planti meri i meri bilong jeles na pait. Sapos man
i kam bek long haus bihaintaim em bai sutim tok olsem i bin raun wantaim
narapela meri. Na tu planti meri i paitim pikinini. Sampela taim em i mama
na sampela taim em aunty.

Pikinini i mekim meri i kros na em i paitim em. Meri i pilai kas na pikinini i
hanggre na kam. Meri bai paitim em. Pikinini i krai moa na meri i paitim em
moa. Pikinini i pekpek long plua na meri i paitim em. Meri i ting olsem we
bilong lukautim pikinini em bilong mekim save long pikinini olgeta taim.

The child comes crying for food when the mother/aunty is playing cards.
She slaps the child for crying and slaps more because the child is crying
more. Many women confuse discipline with training and think that violence
is the only response to make. Some are too lazy to train the child. Step
mothers may abuse their step-children.

They use a technique of show and slap. A child is unable to use a spoon
and spills the food on mother/aunty. For this the child is slapped for being
a big head. The child cries more and is slapped more. It is not unusual in
this country to see two year old children punching other children. Are they
imitating fathers? Perhaps. They may be imitating their mother/aunty.

How can we spoil the growth of a child?

We spoil growth of children by not giving the love and caring necessary for
their lives. We need to understand growth and help them pass from stage

to stage.

We have to realize small children will not be responsible adults if they are
not taught to respect parents and be part of a loving family. They must be
given responsibility to go out into the world. Without values and positive
skills they will not succeed. They do not respect others with no respect
for themselves.

Yumi inap spoilim laip bilong pikinini sapos yumi no lukautim em. Bebe i

krai na mama i no kam. Bebe i hanggre na kaikai i no kam. Pikinini i krai

na papa o mama i paitim em. Pikinini i stat long raun wantaim ol arapela

pikinini man.

Papa inap spoilim pikinini man sapos em i no givim em gutpela eksampel.

Pikinini i lukim ol pasin bilong papa. Em i ting olsem spak, pulim simok

long brus o spak brus na raun long olgeta hap, paitim meri em pasin
bilong man tru. Yangpela man i bihainim ol pasin bilong papa.

Famili bai spoilim ol pikinini sapos ol i no gat mani inap long baim gutpela

kaikai olsem kumu, karot, bin, pinat, kaukau, pumpkin lip na frut. Gutpela

sapos ol pikinini i lainim gut stretpela pasin bilong kaikai.

Does a child have to obey parents?

A young child has to understand that he/she is not the centre of the
family. A child has to be given loving support by parents to follow to
family values and behave as required by parents. There is so much that
can harm a child but the child is too young to see the danger. A child
can drown in a drain during rain. Or die by touching a fallen power line.

A young girl can be forced into a car and gang raped by men. Cars on
the road can kill a young child. A child can not be a positive family
member without the desire to please parents and learn positive skills.
They may be parents only ten years away.

Parents must be able to trust a child. A child will not be trusted if she
says she is staying with her girl friend but goes to a nightclub. A young
boy says he is studying at university but goes to a homebrew party.

Ol pikinini i mas klia gut olsem ol i no bosim famili. Papa na mama i bos
na bikpela susa i bihainim ol. Tasol ol liklik pikinini i no smat tumas na i
no save long olgeta samting inap paulim ol.

Lektrik pawa inap kilim ol. Wara inap kilim. Paia inap kukim pikinini.
Ka long rot inap bamim. Snek inap kaikaim. Planti moa samting inap
kilim pikinini. Ol papamama i mas lukautim em.Taim pikinini i bikpela
i gat moa samting inap kilim.

I gat ol man i spak na pait. I gat man i kisim meri i go long bus. I gat
man i sutim yangpela man o meri wantaim gan. I gat draiva i painim birua
long rot. Ol papamama i wari yet long ol yangpela man na meri bilong ol.

Ol papamama i mas fil amamas long ol pikinini bilong ol. Sapos yangpela
meri i tok olsem em i stap wantaim gel pren bilong em, nogut sapos em i
stap long naitklab. O pikinini man i no go stadi long Yunivesti. Nogat. Em
i stap long homebrew pati.