MY FATHER: BAD ROLE MODEL

A real life story in Papua New Guinea

My father taught me no positive values in my life. All that he

was, I rejected and made sure that I did not follow his lifestyle

now that I am a man with a wife and children of my own.

Papa bilong mi i no skulim long gutpela pasin mi taim mi pikinini.
Olgeta pasin bilong em mi no bihainim nau mi bikpela man na
mi gat meri na pikinini.

I taught my sons to fix engines and helped me to build a house. I
am an adult and I work to teach my children. They do not see me
doing wrong. I talk of good values. I give a good example. My
wife and I teach our daughters to find a good husband.

Mi skulim ol pikinini man long we bilong oraitim ensin bilong ka na

ol i halivim mi long wokim haus. Ol i no lukim mi i mekim rong. Mi
toktok long ol gutpela pasin na givim gutpela eksampel. Meri na
mi mitupela i skulim ol pikinini meri long painim gutpela man.

My father was a man who spent money on beer and women. My
fortnight pay goes to my wife for my loved ones. My father made
my mother and his children starve. Pay is for food, clothes, school
fees and medicine - not beer.

Papa bilong mi em i man bilong tromwe fotnait pe long bia na raunim

ol meri. Em i no kisim pe i kam bek stret long haus. Mi yet mi kisim

pe i kam bek stret long han bilong meri bilong mi. Sapos mi laikim

mani, mi askim em. Pe i bilong kaikai, skul fi, klos na marasin - i no
bia.

My father would be violent to my mother. He would never talk to us.

If my mother was cross with him, she was afraid as he would hit and

kick her.

Olgeta taim papa bai paitim mama. Em i no toktok wantaim mipela.

Em i no man bilong toktok. Mama i asua stret long maritim kain man

olsem. Mama i pret long papa. Dispela i rong stret. Tupela marit i mas

wok olsem tim. Em i save paitim em na kikim em.

I have never hurt my wife in our lives together. We talk and discuss

matters that affect our family. Men who do not talk are often violent.

My uncles were the same.

Mi no bin paitim meri bilong mi long olgeta marit laip bilong mipela

o bipo. Mitupela i save toktok wantaim long olgeta hevi bilong famili.

Planti man i no save toktok. Ol i haitim olgeta tingting insait na pait.

Ol uncle bilong mipela i paitim merit tu. Em ol brata bilong papa.

They would not discuss problems but only bash my aunties. I was

sure that I would never do that. My brother and I went to school

because my mother’s brother paid our school fees. I learned to

think and talk.

Ol i no toktok tasol ol i paitim meri bilong ol. Mi no save mekim

olsem. Brata na mi mitupela i go long skul bikos uncle i peim skul

fi. Em brata bilong mama. Mi lainim pasin bilong tingting na toktok.

My brother did not go on far at school. He was very much like our

father. He admired him when he bashed our mother. I could see

that he would grow up to be the same kind of man.

Brata bilong mi i no stap longtaim long skul. Em i kain yangpela man

olsem papa. Em i ting olsem papa i wokim gutpela pasin wantaim

spak na pait. Mi klia olsem em bai bihainim papa.

He is married too but spends most of his time out drinking with his

friends. Our father was a positive role model to my brother. He taught

him bad behaviour.

Brata i marit tu tasol em i save go aut long nait long spak na painim meri

wantaim ol pren bilong em. Em i ting olsem papa i man bilong ol gutpela

pasin.

My brother has 3 children and does not pay school fees. Like my uncle

before me, I pay the fees each year. It is my way to thank him by doing

the same for my brother’s children.

Brata bilong mi i gat tripela pikinini na i no save peim ol skul fi. Olsem

uncle bilong mi bipo mi peim wan wan yia. Em we bilong mi long tok

tengkyu long uncle bilong mi. Mi wokim wankain wantaim ol pikinini

bilong brata.

Often his children come to my house when they are hungry. My wife

says that we are becoming their role models.

Planti taim ol pikinini bilong brata ol i hanggre na kam long haus. Meri

na mi mitupela i soim gutpela pasin long ol.

My father and his second son have spent their lives drunk and looking

for women. No-one looks after our father and he goes hungry. I would

allow him to come to my house but I fear he will harm his grand-children.

Papa bilong mi na nambatu pikinini man i stap long olgeta laip long spak

na painim meri. I no gat wanpela famili memba i lukautim papa. Mi stap

redi long sapotim em tasol mi wari olsem em bai mekim nogut long ol

pikinini bilong mipela.

We can say that positive role models make loving positive families that

pass the positive lifestyle down to their children.

Yumi inap tok olsem sapos marit man na meri i stap gut wantaim long

lukautim ol pikinini, gutpela sindaun bai stap nau na kisim strong insait

long famili long taim bihain.