The Personal Development course places some emphasis on choosing a husband or a wife. Let us start with a husband. Many girls do not think through their decision to marry a man. They do not consider the quality of their lives some years down the line.
They may end up with a violent womaniser who brings the HIV virus to wife and her baby. A girl should consider whether or not there is love.
Is he a friend? Is the young girl afraid of him? Is he violent to her? Will he be violent again? Is he jealous and not allow her to have any contact with men or boys, including her own brothers and cousins?
Will he look after the children? Is he friendly to her little brothers, sisters and cousins? Does he have faith?
Do the family members like him? Is he respectful to the mother, father and other family members? Does he mix with men in the family? Does he drink alcohol or homebrew? Does he smoke marijuana or tobacco? Is he on the way to becoming a brain damaged drug body?
Is he violent? Do he have other girlfriends, wives or children? Is he employed? Will he bring his fortnightly pay to his wife? Does he keep his pay secret? If the wife works with pay credited to a bank account, does he want her ATM card?
Does he want access to her superannuation payout? Is that why he wants her to change her name to his? Does he want to take her to his village that is hundreds of kilometers away? Will he be violent in the village? If found to be HIV positive, will he blame his wife? Will the village support him?
Does she live too far from her family to be helped? Can she run away with her baby and come back home? Should she have married a man near her village? Will he always drag her back if she runs away? Will her fathers, brothers and uncles stop him? Are they afraid?
If he makes her pregnant in very early stages, will she tell him he is the biological father? Should she demand money to look after the child? Will this make him act as if she is his wife? Is that what she wants?
Will he then bash her? Will he then demand sex from a wife? Will she put his name on the birth certificate? Will she take his name for the baby? Can he then come and demand to take the baby to his village?
If the answer is NO, NO, NO, NO........do not marry him.
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