Thursday 19 May 2011

SPARE THE ROD

It is essential that there be rules and standards in society. To those
who obey the rules, there are benefits. Those who abuse the rules
are subject to sanctions.

Those who are kind and caring are generally well regarded though
occasionally taken advantage of. Those who are violent and vicious
are usually subject to rejection by the community at large.

We all learn the basics of the rules as small children. When very young,
we do not understand the language of our parents and the rules of right
and wrong. We are allowed to misbehave in early childhood, while
we think we are at the centre of our family.

At about 4-6 years, our parents lovingly put us on a rope, figuratively
speaking. We find we can not longer scream and cry for an icecream.

We see 5 year old boys screaming in the PNG streets and punching
their mother who does not buy the icecream the child demands.

Our parents start to no longer smile tolerantly when we break a cup in
anger. Then the expectations by parents increase as the child grows to
teenage years. Families have rules.

6 May 2011 ... FAMILY POSITIVE LIVING - AIDS HOLISTICS: LOVING
DISCIPLINE HELPS ... 26 Apr 2011 See GROWTH OF CHILDREN. Punishment
is part of world ...
familypositiveliving.blogspot.com/.../key-reports-on-family-positive-living.
html - Cached -

Children have to understand that bad behaviour is not tolerated in society.
Even young boys will be put into youth care for murder. Stealing may bring
the police and a gaol sentence as the child grows.

Misbehaviour in school may bring expulsion. Many schools in Australia have
a process leading to expulsion involving escalation of response from warning
and counseling, to parental involvement, further warning, further counseling,
expulsion and police action.

Problem children are those who have no sense of consequences. They can
misbehave and nothing happens. Years ago, my 7 year old daughter came
crying that a boy down the road had punched her in the face.

I went down the road, grabbed him and took him to his father. While talking
to the father, the 11 year old boy stood in front of me and punched me in the
face.

The father told me he would kill me if I hit the boy. That kid is on the way to
becoming a criminal supported by his father. The father was probably proud
of him.

We have a problem with people in western society who are doing their best
to destroy the authority of parents. They have defined the rights of children
in ways that gives children complete freedom. Any parent response is abuse.

The parent smacks the child. Abuse. A child is sent to bed without supper.
Abuse.  A child is not allowed to watch TV for a week. Abuse. No pocket
money for a week. Abuse.

Very young children do not understand talk by parents. They may have no
idea of right and wrong. They have just broken a window in temper.

The parent is hugging them and asking if they understood that they did the
wrong thing. They are told that a window costs money. This kid thinks he
has suckers for parents. He is not sorry. He is boss with parents treating
him like a little prince. Dr Spock has done much damage to child rearing.

There is a shortcut to counseling a small child. A hug means that parents
are happy. A smack on the bottom means the parents are not happy.

Once the child is in a repentant frame of mind, then the parent can give a
little talk on right and wrong, followed by a hug and a promise from the
child never to do that again.

It is the foolish/conniving lesbian advisors who have no children of their
own, who think a smack destroys a child’s self esteem. What rubbish.
It is a trick. They want parents to lose control of their kids.

Let us change to dogs. There is a dog next door that will come through
our open gate at any time, enter the kitchen, jump on the bench and pull
food from an open cupboard or cooking on the stove.

I have talked to him while he was biting me. I have said “ now doggy, you
know you are doing the wrong thing. I will let you go this time. Let this be
a lesson to you”.  I have told the owner who assures me the dog is being
fed. I have a stick waiting for him. Next time, I will hit him until he looks
totally repentant. This dog needs to understand consequences.

Dog psychology tells us that this fool dog thinks he is above me on the
pecking order. Unbridled violence will straighten his misconception.

As children grow older and more ready to accept advice and correction,
the approach changes.

6 May 2011 ... The Princess Bitchface Syndrome by Michael Dr Carr-Gregg |
Penguin . .... The family Positive Living message is a world message based on ...
familypositiveliving.blogspot.com/.../princess-bitchface-syndrome.html -
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I have tried various techniques with two daughters in PNG nearly 14 and 13 years
old. I used to tell them that I was going back to Australia. But then my elder told
me that was OK as she and her sister would sell their bodies.

That is too close to the truth for two young girls on  the streets. My elder daughter
has the same basic sense of humour as I do. She knew how to shut her father up.
But then she knows he loves them.

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